Behind the Scenes
by JenesisX
Summary: Reno and Rude get into a huge fight involving a certain ill-mannered cat, and it may be up to Tseng to restore the peace. (This is a series of bonus scenes from different points in time during my 'Irony of Fate' Alternate Universe. It's a collection of stories that happened 'off stage' during or between fics, and the episodes can be read in any order.)
1. A Matter of Security

_**Scene One: A Matter of Security**_

((**Author's Notes**: Welcome to my new series, _Behind the Scenes_! This is a collection of one shots that occur during various points in time during my Irony of Fate Alternate Universe, so you can read them in any order. They are bonus scenes, moments that happened during or between fics but did not make it 'on stage.' Everything here is 100% canon for my AU, and there will be scenes from all different points in my continuity as I remember ideas I've had and come up with new ones. If you have any requests for characters or situations you'd like to see featured, feel free to let me know and I'll see what I can do. Watch this space!

- This debut bonus scene occurs about two weeks after _Life After Death, _in Avalanche-controlled Junon Harbor. The players are Yuffie, Lucrecia, and Vincent. I would love to hear what you think, so please take a moment to leave a review if you'd be so kind! And if you'd favorite and follow this series as well, you'd really make my day. Thanks so much! _~ JenesisX _))

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Yuffie was a bundle of nerves as she made her way across Junon Harbor, a folder of reports clutched tightly against her chest. As she headed in the opposite direction from her apartment, her stomach was alive with butterflies. She began to question the sanity of what she was doing for the hundredth time, glancing over her shoulder and briefly considering turning around and going back the way she came. Then she stubbornly set her jaw and continued onward, refusing to back down when a friend was in need. Yuffie Kisaragi was many things, but she was no coward!

The very idea that Vincent might need her help was almost funny, but she'd been very concerned about him the last two weeks… ever since that woman had shown up on the base. She was supposed to be _dead_, but she'd somehow been cloned by Hojo along with all of her memories, miraculously escaping the laboratory and returning to Vincent after over thirty years. It all sounded incredibly romantic until you remembered exactly what she'd done to him in the past…

Yuffie frowned and kicked a rock, recalling the disbelief she felt when Vincent first told Avalanche his story in Nibelheim. Hell, she still couldn't get over the way they'd found him napping in a coffin, and the fact that he'd been there for _three decades _while the world went on without him. It was only about a year ago, but Yuffie felt like she'd been so much younger then, so naïve and clueless. But despite everything she'd learned since then, she could not begin to understand how anyone could do the things this woman had. She had let herself be used as a human guinea pig, broken Vincent's heart over _Hojo_ of all people, and allowed her unborn child to be used in a horrible experiment. Yet despite all of it, Vincent remained hopelessly in love with her, and it had gotten him… killed? She wasn't quite sure of that detail, but she knew horrible things had been done to him, and that he suffered every day both physically and emotionally.

She felt her face grow hot with anger just thinking about it, furious that someone as cool as Vincent had been hurt so badly. Sure, he was quiet and said some pretty weird things sometimes, but he had also saved her life countless times during their journey without even thinking about it. She remembered the way he had thrown her to safety and taken a hit from Ultimate WEAPON in Mideel, a powerful jolt meant to kill her. He barely acknowledged her thanks once he recovered, as if he didn't think he deserved it, and it made her want to smack him upside the head. There were so many times she wanted to yank down the high collar of his cloak and ring his neck, or throttle him until he finally cracked and showed some kind of emotion. There had to be a spark left in there, something other than the defeat and guilt, and dammit, she wanted to find it. Everyone might have thought she was just an annoying kid hell-bent on teasing him, or a hormonal teenager with a crush, and maybe those things were a bit true at first. But once she got past her initial fear and fascination, Yuffie grew to like Vincent for who he was beneath his cold shell. She considered him her friend, one of few she had, and thief or not she took that role seriously.

Suddenly, this woman… _Lucrecia_… was back in his life. Maybe she should have been thrilled for him. Lucrecia was all he'd wanted, after all. Nothing else seemed to matter to Vincent from the moment he'd awakened. When he'd stare off into the distance for hours on end, Yuffie knew he was thinking of her, and had a feeling he'd be doing so for the rest of his life. And now she was alive again, where he could see her, touch her… His dream had actually come true. Shouldn't she be deliriously happy for him and wish him well? She wanted to be, because more than anything she had always wanted to see Vincent smile. But while everyone else thought Lucrecia's return was going to be wonderful for him, Yuffie was not so sure. The others might have continued to write her off as a kid, but she wasn't stupid. Her mind hadn't stopped racing since Tifa first passed on the story, originally told by Aeris, of Lucrecia's arrival. She'd just walked right into town one afternoon and showed up at Vincent's home, fleeing from Shin-ra and desperate to see he and Sephiroth. The woman had some nerve when you really thought about it…

Vincent was more vulnerable than ever in his depressed state after everything he'd been through at Hojo's hands. He had spent thirty years punishing himself in a coffin, and he was forced to battle a demon who tried to take over his body every waking moment. Lucrecia was a brilliant scientist who had done terrible things, and she _had_ to realize how powerful an effect her arrival would have on him. He had pined for her all those years, and her hold over his heart was all consuming. Yuffie was extremely concerned that she was up to no good, or simply using him because it was convenient. What if she broke his heart a second time? Though Vincent had never allowed the young ninja to get very close to him, she had observed him enough to know that he would not be able to survive with his sanity intact.

She wished she had thought to talk to Aeris about her concerns before deciding to act on her own, because she had always made the most sincere effort to get to know the quiet gunman. Yuffie knew she cared about him, and the former flower girl was always trying to include him in things against his will. But she also had to keep in mind that Vincent and Lucrecia were Sephiroth's parents. How could she possibly expect Aeris to think about the situation without bias, or worrying about how it would affect her husband? No, she was an adult now, seventeen by the end of their journey, and she was Vincent's friend, too. She was more than capable of dropping by to make sure he was all right by herself. It was just that she had never actually _been _to his home before, and was quite sure he wasn't going to be thrilled to see her…

After leaving Main Street and turning onto a smaller road that snaked away from the busier areas of the base, a lone building came into view a short distance ahead. Its dark bricks were crumbling and many of the windows were cracked or shattered. It was set far back from the main road and its countless rows of interconnected buildings, long abandoned and likely marked for demolition before Avalanche took over. It reminded Yuffie of a haunted house, and even though it was a warm evening and still light outside, she couldn't quite suppress a shiver.

_Gods, why the hell does he live _here_?_ _Not helping the vampire image much, Vinny…_

She shrugged and continued forward, telling herself she was being foolish for allowing the sight of the place to affect her. How bad could it be, she reasoned, if his snotty scientist girlfriend was willing to live there? It was probably perfectly fine on the inside, and he'd chosen it because it was quiet and isolated. She knew how much he was bothered by sound and crowds of people because of his unnaturally enhanced senses, finally learning to keep her voice down in his presence. She usually forgot within half a minute, but it was the thought that counted.

Yuffie climbed the steps onto a rotting front porch, the wood creaking loudly under even her light weight. She tripped over a loose floorboard just as she made it to the top, catching herself on the wall just beside the outer door. She was rewarded with a sharp stab of pain in her right hand as a splinter jammed its way into the soft flesh of her palm.

"Oww! Geez!"

She glared down at her hand and took a moment to pick out the thin shard of wood, wincing and flicking it aside as a pinpoint of blood appeared. "Vincent, your house is a _dump_," she muttered, opening the door and stepping into a vacant room. Thick cobwebs hung in the corners, and the windows were so dirty that almost no light managed to sneak inside. The floor was covered with nearly half an inch of a mysterious brown residue, a few broken bottles and dead leaves mixed in for flavor. She had always pegged Vincent as a neat freak, but boy, had _that_ guess been wrong. Would it have killed him to buy a broom? She looked around and wrinkled her nose in disgust until she located the staircase leading downward, grumbling to herself about his strange fixation with creepy basements.

_There better not be a coffin down there, Vinny! And I swear, if that crazy chick is trying to experiment on you, I'm gonna to kill her a second time whether you like it or not!_

Yuffie was surprised by how strongly she meant that as she descended, blinking to adjust her vision to the dim lighting. She had already formed a strong opinion of Lucrecia, that of a cold hearted scientist who only cared about herself and her experiments. Why else would she have shown up out of nowhere after the choices she'd made in the past and so easily accepted Vincent the way he was now? Yuffie frowned, instantly ashamed of herself. Vincent was still a good looking guy, and beneath his detached exterior he was loyal, thoughtful, and passionate about what he believed in. He was just so hard to get to know, and it made it easy for people to let him fade from their minds and dismiss him as strange and unimportant. Yet it seemed Lucrecia had known him quite well once, and it was Vincent she had run to when she'd broken free from the laboratory. And if he loved _her_ so deeply, then maybe she also…? If that was so, her past actions were even more confusing, and Yuffie felt the beginnings of a headache forming behind her eyes. She shook her head and took a deep breath, forcing herself to concentrate on what she was doing.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, there was a short hallway that ended in a much newer door adorned with a small gold plate. It was engraved to read "V. Valentine," and Yuffie grinned. So she had finally found his hidden lair! She wondered if anyone else had ever ventured down there, and just how shocked he was going to be to find her on his doorstep. She'd watched him leave his office and waited half an hour before exiting the security building, giving him plenty of time to return home. Now there she was with some important arrest reports she had 'forgotten' to discuss with him before he left for the day, and she _certainly_ didn't want to wait until morning in case he needed to deal with any of the prisoners before it got too late. Just being responsible, nothing wrong with that, right?… aside from the fact that she'd never done such a thing before, and they'd never had a problem letting criminals think things over until morning. _Bah, details!_

It was common knowledge where Vincent lived, and he'd never said anyone was forbidden to visit him at home, whether they actually did so or not. It was the perfect opportunity to see how he was doing away from work, and to hopefully get a look at the woman who had caused so much trouble and heartbreak. Yuffie was genuinely concerned for her friend, but she was also intensely curious by nature. The harder someone tried to avoid revealing information about themselves, the more she wanted to know… and no one tried harder than Vincent. It seemed as if he was trying to keep Lucrecia hidden away from everyone for some reason, secreted away inside his home. Almost no one in their group had gotten a good look at her since her arrival aside from Sephiroth and Aeris, though Cid claimed he had seen her in passing and Tifa spotted she and Vincent entering a clothing shop across from the Bulldog Tavern her first evening in town. It only increased Yuffie's reservations about the nature of their relationship and what might be happening behind closed doors.

Yuffie paused, shifting the folder to the crook of her left arm and biting her lip. She lifted her right arm and made a fist, but couldn't quite bring herself to knock. She'd been kidding herself when she thought Vincent would accept her reason for coming at face value. She knew he was going to realize she was up to something as soon as he opened the door. He was extremely intelligent and perceptive, and he would sense her nervousness a mile away. But it was hardly a _crime _to be concerned about a friend, was it? Not that she'd _ever_ admit that was her reason for showing up at Vincent's door for the first time. She'd rather admit to being nosey and wanting to check out his girlfriend! That was also true, after all. She wanted to see what the big deal was, who exactly he'd been infatuated with for so long.

_Vincent with a girlfriend… That is the weirdest thing _EVER._ Well, maybe after Sephiroth and Aeris getting married. And Cid being engaged. Oh _gross_…_

"Here goes nothing," Yuffie muttered, finally forcing herself to knock swiftly three times before she completely lost her nerve. She grimaced and shook out her hand, the heavy wood painful against her boney knuckles. Why couldn't he have a doorbell like everyone else? On second thought, she supposed that would have _really_ hurt his sensitive ears. She waited, but heard nothing from the other side of the door. What the hell…? She knew he had to be home by now, and obviously he would have heard her knocking. Maybe he was in the bathroom or something. She sighed impatiently, waiting a few minutes before she knocked again. She swore in Wutaiian, shifting the folder under her opposite arm so she could rub her red knuckles. Still, nothing.

"I know you live here, Vincent!" she shouted, half teasing and half in frustration. "Your name is on the damn door, so you might as well open up!"

Yuffie was about to begin kicking the door to spare her hands when she heard soft footsteps approaching from the other side, followed by the distinct sound of a deadbolt being turned. Another lock clicked a moment later, and after a long pause the door slowly opened just a crack. She frowned and leaned forward a bit, confused and trying to see inside. Delicate fingers with badly bitten nails curled around the edges of the doorframe a moment later, nervous green eyes framed by glasses peering out at her from the darkness. Yuffie just barely held back a gasp of surprise, her mouth silently dropping open.

"Can… I help you?" an unfamiliar female voice nearly whispered.

"Uh…"

Yuffie stood frozen in place, staring mutely with her mouth agape. This was definitely _not_ in her plans.

"If you're looking for Vincent, he isn't home yet," the woman said when Yuffie failed to reply, opening the door a little more to reveal a portion of her face.

"Uh… uh, yeah!" Yuffie finally managed to reply, tripping over her words. "I… um. I wanted to… I mean, I forgot to give him…" She held up the folder of reports in way of explanation, her face flaming red.

_Great! Really freaking smooth, Yuff. You dumbass!_

A slight smile crossed the woman's face, and she finally opened the door about half way. She remained positioned as if blocking the way inside, however, and still appeared quite nervous. "Are… are you Yuffie?" she asked, her voice quiet and shy. She briefly made eye contact but quickly looked away, and the young ninja's own eyes widened in surprise.

"How did you know?!"

"Vincent talks about you sometimes… Oh, and I'm Lucrecia. I guess that was obvious, though." She shook her head and laughed, a brief, nervous sound. Her cheeks flushed crimson as she held out her hand, and Yuffie awkwardly shook it. It was a bit cold, about the same size as her own. "I'm sorry, my social skills are a little rusty…"

"It's okay, I totally understand," Yuffie found herself comforting, finally able to take a moment to really look at the woman standing before her.

_This_ was the infamous Lucrecia, the Shin-ra scientist who had ripped out Vincent's heart and stomped on it, the woman who allowed Sephiroth to be experimented on and almost inadvertently helped destroy the Planet? She stood barely taller than Yuffie, petite and almost fragile in appearance. She was delicately attractive with a natural beauty, but she wouldn't have stood out in a crowd of gorgeous women. Her long brown hair was straight and silky, falling gracefully down her back with a few shorter strands trailing into her face. It was her eyes that were most noticeable behind her wire framed glasses, a beautiful emerald green that was exactly the same shade as Sephiroth's without the unnatural glow of Mako exposure. Yuffie blinked rapidly, fighting not to stare and keep her expression neutral. Lucrecia was absolutely nothing like she'd expected. She'd pictured someone taller and stronger in appearance, a woman who radiated confidence and power instead of appearing so shy and unsure of herself. _This_ woman looked so harmless, so _normal _and nearly timid, that Yuffie could not picture her doing any of the things she knew she had. She tried and failed to imagine the nervous woman shifting uncomfortably before her at Vincent's side, unable to fit them together in her mind. There was just no way…

"Would you… like to come in and wait for him?" Lucrecia asked after an uncomfortable silence, her tone hesitant but not unkind. Yuffie quickly pretended to study the folder in her arms, hoping she had not been caught staring. Lucrecia turned and looked over her shoulder, and Yuffie realized a moment later that she was glancing at a clock on the wall. "He shouldn't be much longer. He's usually home within another half an hour or so."

Yuffie took a moment to consider the offer, still completely off balance. This was _not_ how things were supposed to go! Vincent was supposed to be home, answer the door, and hopefully let her inside for a few minutes while he looked over the reports. It would give her an opportunity to check up on him and finally get a look at this woman for herself, then make her exit with the information. _Lucrecia_ wasn't supposed to answer the door herself, and gods, she wasn't supposed to be home alone! This was beyond awkward. Yuffie had spent most of Avalanche's journey thinking she was a bitch and trying to get Vincent to forget about her so he would stop being so depressed all the time. Vincent could be pretty cold and did a lot of strange things, but he was too decent a guy to spend the rest of his life hung up over someone who had treated him so horribly. But any time she tried to point that out to him, he only grew angry and walked away. Now here was Lucrecia, back to life, and Vincent was right back in her arms as if she'd done nothing wrong… she supposed, anyway. Was he even _capable_ of that kind of thing any more? Normally he didn't like anyone to come within more than a few feet of him. Yuffie realized she had no idea what the extent of their relationship actually _was_ now that she thought about it. She'd assumed the fact he and Lucrecia were living together meant that…well… you know. But Vincent was so different than he must have been when they were last together, both mentally and physically, and Yuffie found she absolutely could not picture him being romantic with a woman. And even if he was interested, what if Lucrecia was disgusted by the changes made to his body, or so weirded out by the way he acted that she wanted no part of him? For all she knew their relationship was completely cold, or at least strictly platonic. Gods, why was she even _thinking _about that right now?!

"Are you sure you really don't mind?" Yuffie finally asked when she realized Lucrecia was watching her with concern in her eyes, trying to sound cheerful and confident while she fought nausea. She hated how her body responded that way the moment she was nervous. "I _did_ sort of just drop in on you unannounced, heh."

_Gods, this was such a stupid idea. The things I do for my friends!_

"Oh, no, it's fine. Really," Lucrecia said, smiling more openly and stepping aside to allow Yuffie to enter. The smile lit up her face, and it made her seem a lot less on edge. "I was only reading while I waited for Vincent to get home."

"Well… okay then."

Once Yuffie had slipped past Lucrecia and entered Vincent's home for the first time, her earlier theory about the inside being much nicer was immediately disproved. As Lucrecia closed and began to lock the door behind them, she had a moment to look around and was shocked by what she saw. It was just as dark inside as it had been in the hallway, no obvious effort made to chase away the shadows that clung to every inch of the basement dwelling. To her left was what she assumed was supposed to be the living room. It contained a threadbare couch and lopsided coffee table, an end table and lamp, and a tall bookshelf crammed full to capacity. The floor was bare concrete aside from a few frayed throw rugs, and a layer of dust and cobwebs covered nearly everything. Her eyes were briefly drawn to a fat spider making his home near the ceiling, sending a shiver down her spine. A narrow window at the very top of the wall where it sat just above ground level helped to illuminate the room only slightly, and a musty, damp smell hung thick in the air. Yuffie had no idea how anyone could consider this to be their home... It was one of the most dreary and depressing places she had ever been.

"Holy crap…" she muttered as she looked about with wide eyes. She clamped a hand over her mouth a second later when she realized she'd actually spoken the words aloud. She closed her eyes, mortified, able to feel Lucrecia standing close behind. Now this crazy scientist had her all alone down there and was going to do gods only knew what to her for insulting her home… well, her boyfriend's home? Gods, she was so confused. Why had she agreed to come inside again?!

"It's safe here, at least," Lucrecia said softly, a faraway look in her eyes as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself. There was no hint of anger or sign that she was about to do something horrible, and after a moment she seemed to shake herself from her thoughts.

Yuffie had no idea what to say to her quiet statement so she simply nodded, her eyes scanning the other side of the room. There wasn't much to it aside from a small refrigerator that seemed fairly new shoved into one dark corner, a few cabinets hung crookedly above it. The paint was faded and peeling, so she knew Vincent hadn't been the one to perform such shoddy work. There was a modern microwave and toaster set atop a heavy wooden cart that was stocked with various food supplies, and Yuffie frowned when she realized what she was looking at.

_Seriously, Vincent? This is your kitchen?! No wonder you're so damn skinny! _

There was a door directly across from the 'kitchen,' and it was left open far enough that she could see a mirror mounted on the wall above a sink, assuming it must be the bathroom. At least he didn't have a bucket tucked into some other corner…

"I'm really sorry," she heard Lucrecia say behind her, cursing herself when she jumped in surprise. "I know it's…"

"No, no, it's fine!" Yuffie exclaimed nervously, whirling around and forcing a smile. "I've just never been here before..."

"When Sephiroth came over to see me the day I arrived, it was his first time, too…" Lucrecia said almost absently, shaking her head. Yuffie thought she looked sad as she examined a spider web growing along the wall, but she quickly turned away and managed a crooked grin. "I can kind of understand why."

Yuffie giggled despite herself. "I think Vincent needs to hire an interior decorator or something."

Lucrecia laughed at that and seemed to relax a bit, looking around the apartment with a thoughtful frown. "I'd like to try to do something to at least clean it up a bit, but I don't even know where to start…"

Yuffie raised an eyebrow, considering her words. It sounded as if she intended to remain there long term… perhaps permanently? That was interesting. Vincent had said nothing about Lucrecia or their situation at work, even when she'd attempted to pry for information… though he _had_ seemed a lot less gloomy. Once, she even thought she'd seen him smiling behind the collar of his cloak when she walked past his office. Yuffie suddenly realized that her original plan may have gotten derailed, but she may have just been given an incredible opportunity instead. Vincent might not have been willing to talk about his personal life, but perhaps _Lucrecia_ would. Half an hour, did she say? Yuffie's mind began to race with questions she wanted to ask and she began to fidget, fighting to remain calm and appear casual as they stood together in the middle of the room.

"Would you like something to drink?" Lucrecia asked to break the silence, a slight tremble in her voice. She seemed so painfully shy and unsure of herself that Yuffie almost felt sorry for her. It was suddenly a lot easier to picture her as a scientist. She had likely been the shy, nerdy girl in school who always had trouble talking to people and kept to her studies. In other words, Yuffie's complete opposite. Ha, and she'd even said she was in the middle of reading a book when she'd knocked at the door. How stereotypical! But how did the timid little woman in front of her end up marrying Hojo and thinking that weird Jenova experiment was a good idea? She'd been expecting a female version of the old professor, creepy and radiating evil, yet so far Lucrecia seemed anything but. Yuffie realized she was staring again, remembering that she'd been asked a question and settling on the easiest response.

"Uh, sure. Do you have water?"

"Of course. That's all Vincent will drink," Lucrecia said with obvious fondness in her voice, heading for the small refrigerator. Yuffie trailed after her, her eyes still scanning her surroundings. As Lucrecia bent down and removed a bottle of water from a shelf that was stocked with nothing but, Yuffie's eyes wandered to a final door that lay open at the rear of the 'apartment.' When she leaned forward slightly to peer inside, all she could see was a large mattress lying directly on the floor and pushed up against the wall, all of the usual bedding neatly spread out on top of it. Her eyes widened in horror when she realized she was looking into his… _their?_… bedroom, and the mattress was what passed for his bed. Vincent sure knew how to impress a lady…

_At least it isn't a coffin. He's improving!_

"Here you go."

Yuffie jumped again and blushed, quickly looking away and accepting the cold bottle. "Thanks," she said with a smile, hoping she hadn't been caught peeking into the bedroom.

"Um, well… I know it looks awful, but the couch is actually comfortable if you'd like to sit down," Lucrecia said with a gesture toward the living room, briefly making eye contact before looking down at her house slippers. Yuffie noticed that she did that a lot, as if she was extremely self-conscious. It made her want to make Lucrecia feel better, something that confused her a great deal. Just five minutes ago she was convinced she needed to protect her friend from this woman.

"Sure, may as well," Yuffie said with a shrug, reminding herself of her new plan to try to get Lucrecia to talk as much as possible before Vincent arrived home. The more she could find out about the situation, the better. Vincent was blinded by love and obsession, so _someone_ had to watch out for him whether he wanted them to or not. There was no way he was ever going to talk about any of this, but so far Lucrecia seemed friendly enough, if not a bit shy and nervous. She was new in town, so maybe she wouldn't care about their age difference or the fact that they'd just met, and just be happy to have a new girlfriend to chat with for a while? It was worth a shot.

They made their way across the room and settled at opposite ends of the couch, and Yuffie was surprised to find that it actually _was _comfortable. It was clean, too, despite its aged appearance. A bit dusty, but otherwise perfectly fine. Lucrecia set her book on the coffee table and shifted sideways, and Yuffie did the same as she twisted the cap off her bottle of water and took a sip.

"So you… work for Vincent?" Lucrecia asked, her hands folded tightly in her lap. Her voice was so quiet she was difficult to hear, and it struck Yuffie as odd that Vincent spoke the same way most of the time. Maybe they had other things in common, too? She couldn't imagine _what_, but something must have made Vincent fall for her so hard.

"Yup!" she answered proudly, sitting up a bit taller. "I'm on his security team now, and he won't admit it but I'm pretty much his assistant. You know, next in charge and stuff! Um, not to brag or anything." That might not have been _entirely_ true, but after working together for so long with Avalanche Vincent at least knew he could trust her when he needed something important done. Most of his security team was made up of strangers and new recruits, and they were still learning the job. She'd just leave out the part about how she'd had to beg and plead with him for weeks to let her join his team, and how he often gave her the most boring and pointless tasks just to keep her out of his way.

"Oh, wow," Lucrecia said, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Do… do you like… working with him? I mean, uh, working in security?" She blushed and began to wring her hands in her lap, staring down at them with her hair obscuring her face.

"Well, yeah! It's fun and exciting to go after the bad guys trying to mess up our town, but we _do_ spend a lot of time just patrolling and doing nothing. That part's _boring! _And the paperwork sucks, too. But Vincent's pretty cool most of the time. I've always liked working with him and stuff, but sometimes it's hard because he's so quiet and mopey."

Lucrecia glanced up at her and nodded solemnly, and Yuffie suddenly realized she was letting the other woman lead the conversation and question _her_. It was almost as if she was fishing for information about Vincent, as if she didn't really know….

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Lucrecia began, and Yuffie could have sworn she saw the beginning of tears in her green eyes. She bit her bottom lip and began to wring her hands in earnest, and something about the gesture caught Yuffie's attention. It seemed so out of place, yet hauntingly familiar. She stared for a moment, unable to look away, when suddenly it hit her.

_Sephiroth!_ _Sephiroth wrings his hands during meetings _just_ like that any time he's stressed out. Holy shit…_

"Are you okay?" Yuffie finally asked, feeling awkward as she watched Lucrecia struggle to collect herself. Surely a woman capable of the things she'd done wasn't going to start _crying_, was she?

"Yes… I'm sorry, I just… it's… been a long couple of weeks," she said with a weak smile, her voice wavering ever so slightly. "I'm still adjusting to all of this."

"I'll bet!" Yuffie exclaimed, considering for a moment what Lucrecia had just been through. She'd been dead for thirty years, awakened as a clone in Hojo's laboratory, been informed she was about to be used to repeat the Jenova Project, escaped and made her way to Junon Harbor, and been reunited with a very different Vincent Valentine… not to mention her grown and emotionally damaged son. That was a lot for anyone to handle, regardless of their past. Ugh, was she really starting to _sympathize_ with this woman?

"It's good to talk to someone who knows Vincent well," Lucrecia said quietly, and for just a fraction of a moment Yuffie thought she almost sounded jealous. "We have a lot of catching up to do…"

"How long will you be staying, Lucrecia?" Yuffie asked, finally seeing her opening. If she wanted to get any information out of this visit to make sure Vincent was not going to get hurt again, she had start now.

Lucrecia's head snapped up and her eyes went wide, her cheeks flushing bright red. "I… uh… I wasn't… I mean… I'm… not leaving."

Now Yuffie's eyes widened, too. "So you're really going to stay here permanently?"

"Of course I am," Lucrecia said more confidently, quickly recovering from her shock. "I'm staying with Vincent." Her cheeks were still flushed as a soft smile crossed her face, and her eyes sparkled with what was definitely affection when she spoke his name.

_Oh wow. She's either a _really_ good actress, or…_

"Aww," Yuffie replied before she could help herself, finding herself genuinely moved by the obvious emotions she saw on Lucrecia's face. She'd seen the same look in Tifa's eyes when she spoke of Cloud, and written across Aeris' face when she gazed at Sephiroth across a crowded room. Was it really possible that Lucrecia felt the same way about Vincent? "So you guys are…?"

Lucrecia nodded, that sparkle still in her eyes. "Yeah," she said, looking away bashfully but still smiling. She looked for all the world like a teenager who was madly in love, not a newly resurrected woman who had once broken her lover's heart.

"I uh… I'm really glad," Yuffie said, surprised to realize she actually meant it. If this was for real, she knew it would make Vincent unspeakably happy, but the doubts lingered in her mind. She had to be sure, for his sake. "I'm just, uh…" She paused, taking a drink of water and staring down at the bottle for long moments. Gods, she really shouldn't say it. It wasn't her place, and if Vincent found out he would probably transform and kill her. But he was her friend, and she had come because she was worried about him. This was her chance, to tell Lucrecia her concerns, to let her know others cared for Vincent and didn't want to see him hurt. If she kept silent and something happened, Yuffie knew she'd never be able to forgive herself.

"Go ahead," Lucrecia said quietly, visibly tensing as if she already knew what she was about to say. Her expression had grown deathly serious, her emerald eyes now guarded. She almost seemed to cower backwards into the cushions as if expecting a blow.

"I'm just worried about him, because he's been through so much," Yuffie finally admitted, looking up and meeting Lucrecia's wary gaze. "He's my friend, and I don't want to see him get hurt." _Again._ She left the final word unspoken, but she knew it passed between them anyway.

A single tear trailed down Lucrecia's cheek and she let it fall, maintaining eye contact this time as a heavy silence filled the room. In her eyes, Yuffie was stunned to see a depth of intense emotion, so strong that her heart began to race. She had to remind herself to breathe, clutching the bottle of water so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Never again," Lucrecia finally spoke, and though her voice was nearly a whisper there was such conviction behind the words that somehow Yuffie believed her. "You don't have to worry about him any more… I'm here to take care of him now."

"I-I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business," Yuffie stammered, trying to keep her voice from cracking. "It's just… I really like Vincent, and he's saved my ass more than once." She forced a smirk, fighting as hard as she could not let her emotions show. No way in _hell_ was she going to get weepy! "He's been so depressed since we found him, and I just don't want-"

She stopped mid-sentence as the sound of a key turning in the lock across the room interrupted her awkward statement. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved, or terrified.

_Oh shit! Vincent's home, and I made Lucrecia cry. He's going to kill me!_

Lucrecia, however, instantly relaxed, a wide smile spreading across her face as she hastily wiped away her tears on the sleeve of her shirt. Her entire posture changed as she got to her feet, her eyes focused expectantly on the door. Yuffie watched her for a moment, her heart nearly in her throat as the door began to open.

Vincent soundlessly stepped inside, closing and locking the door behind him. His back was turned to them as he agilely removed his heavy gold boots and set them neatly against the wall. Yuffie sat frozen on the couch, watching as he next undid the clasps of his long red cloak, removing it and hanging it on a hook beside the door. That done, he finally turned around and faced the living room.

His eyes immediately found Lucrecia, still hovering shyly several feet away as if she was unsure of whether or not to approach him. His blank expression instantly began to soften, and he took half a step toward her… then froze. His head jerked to the right and his eyes shifted until they focused in on Yuffie like a hawk spotting a mouse. She cringed and forced a sheepish grin, wishing she could sink into the cushions and disappear.

Vincent cocked his head to the side, his brows knitting together in confusion. "Yuffie?"

"Hi, Vincent!" she exclaimed too loudly, tightly clutching the bottle of water in place of her usual shuriken. "Welcome home!"

_Oh gods… I am such an idiot._

Vincent continued to stand in place and stare at her intensely, his red eyes burning into her as she sunk farther and farther into the sagging couch. Thankfully, Lucrecia had worked up her nerve and reached his side, lifting one hand to gently touch his shoulder. Vincent blinked, his expression instantly changing again as he shifted his gaze back in her direction. He looked thoroughly confused and a bit flustered, torn between glaring at Yuffie and greeting his lover. Lucrecia stepped around in front of him, gazing upward to meet his eyes. There was suddenly no contest for his attention, and the way Vincent looked down at her was so intimate that Yuffie felt like a voyeur, swallowing nervously but unable to turn away. She could almost feel the energy between them as Lucrecia moved forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. To Yuffie's complete surprise, Vincent snaked his arms around her and leaned down to softly kiss her lips. A moment later his normal hand came up to caress her cheek, and as he gazed into her eyes it was as if the two of them had forgotten she was even in the room. Suddenly the idea of Vincent being romantic didn't seem quite so far-fetched…

"I missed you," she heard Lucrecia say against his chest. Vincent didn't reply, but it was quite obvious he felt the same. Lucrecia looked so small and fragile against him, the pale blue shirt she wore contrasting with his all-black attire. He held her a moment longer, his embrace somewhere between protective and possessive. He closed his eyes and appeared almost blissful with his chin resting atop her head, when he suddenly seemed to remember the intruder in the room. His eyes snapped opened as he hastily lifted his head, and Yuffie could have sworn his pale cheeks flushed as he carefully stepped away from Lucrecia.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his deep voice as emotionless as usual as he focused in on Yuffie. He had gone from cold to passionate and right back again so quickly that it made her head spin. Lucrecia didn't seem to know how to react, remaining close to Vincent and nervously playing with her hands. Yuffie struggled to gain control of her expression, nervously clearing her throat and reaching for the folder she'd set down on the coffee table.

"I uh… forgot to go over these with you before you left your office!" she stammered, her face hot with embarrassment. She couldn't make herself look up at him again, staring instead at the file in her hands. It was strange to see him without his cloak, his entire face visible aside from what his wild hair and bandanna obscured, and she could not believe what she had just witnessed. "I thought some of them might be too important to wait until morning, so I… I thought you would be home already."

"I always make an additional patrol round before coming home," he said flatly, allowing Lucrecia to take his arm and lead him toward the couch. "The shopkeepers appreciate it."

"Ooh, okay. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Lucrecia interrupted, sitting at the other end of the couch so that Vincent would be positioned between them and able to look over the papers Yuffie had brought. He reluctantly lowered himself into the cushions, and Yuffie pressed herself into the arm to give him as much space as possible. "He doesn't mind. Right, Vincent?"

Vincent grunted, holding out his claw for the folder. Yuffie handed it over, noting that Lucrecia was leaning heavily against him on the other side with her head against his shoulder. Her eyes were closed and she looked thoroughly content, and while Vincent seemed to be ignoring her he also didn't do a thing to move away.

Yuffie fidgeted as Vincent paged through the first few arrest reports with barely a glance, quickly judging them to be insignificant. Her stomach churned nervously, taking it as a very bad sign. She'd hoped at least _one_ of the reports would catch his eye, or her excuse for being there would be even more transparent than it already was. Toward the end of the short pile he finally paused and actually read through one at a speed that always impressed her, reminding her that he was far more intelligent than most people bothered to notice or gave him credit for. He had learned Universal at a much later age than she had, yet his vocabulary was far larger and she had seen him read whole stacks of reports in a fraction of the time it took most native speakers.

"This one is suspicious…" he said absently, almost as if talking to himself. "It almost sounds as if he could be working for Shin-ra and is in town fishing for information. Put a hold on him and don't allow anyone else to speak with him. I will interrogate him myself."

At the mention of Shin-ra, Lucrecia immediately lifted her head and opened her eyes, a look of near panic crossing her face. Vincent moved his free hand to briefly rest upon her knee as he continued to read, quietly reassuring her before removing it.

"Okay!" Yuffie said, relieved there had actually been something in there that caught his attention. "I was pretty sure that one was serious," she added, nodding rapidly when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He was making her extremely nervous, and she knew it was a combination of his close proximity and the fact that she was in his home. She could sense he was less than pleased with that fact, the tension nearly radiating from him. Was he embarrassed by how awful the place was? She knew _she_ certainly would have been. Then again, this _was_ the guy they found sleeping in a coffin in a musty old basement, who had acted as if there wasn't anything particularly strange about that fact.

"This one, too," Vincent said when he reached the final report, stabbing at it with the index finger of his claw and poking a small hole in the paper. She was used to receiving memos and assignments marked in such a way, and now she had a clear visual to go along with it. "He sounds like someone who may escalate into a violent predator. I am not comfortable banishing him from town to be someone else's problem…"

"All right. I'll make sure those two are moved into isolation and left there til your next shift," Yuffie said with a nod, trying to swallow her nerves and act as professional as possible. She claimed to be there strictly on business, after all. Vincent simply closed the folder and handed it back to her, however, giving no indication of whether or not he believed her or approved of her actions. Instead, as she awkwardly cradled the documents against her body and wondered how she had gotten herself into this mess, he turned his body to the right to face Lucrecia.

"Was everything all right while I was gone?" he asked, his deep voice its usual ghostly near-whisper. There was an edge of tension in his tone that Yuffie did not miss, however. He was trying to find out if she'd been bothering Lucrecia, she quickly realized, frowning in annoyance. She almost said something in protest until she realized that she _had_ come unannounced, and that her reasons were rather suspicious. She quietly bit her lip, peering out at Lucrecia from behind him and hoping for the best. She briefly wondered if she could make it to the door faster than Vincent could shoot her.

"Yeah, just the usual," Lucrecia said with a soft smile, her eyes lighting up the instant he looked her way. "I was glad when Yuffie dropped by a little while ago. It's been nice to have someone to talk to while I waited for you."

_Oh, thank the gods! Thank you _so _much, Lucrecia! I totally owe you one! Maybe I was too quick to judge…_

"I better get going!" Yuffie exclaimed, hopping to her feet with the folder in hand. She wasn't about to press her luck, and she was certain Vincent wanted her out of his home so he could spend time alone with Lucrecia. They were still gazing at each other as if they couldn't bear to look away, and she definitely felt like an intruder into a private moment. "There's something on television I am _dying_ to watch tonight, and I still need to grab dinner on my way home."

_I totally sound single and lonely… Oh well, if it gets me out of here in one piece, I don't care! Lucrecia actually seems pretty nice, and it looks like she and Vinny are _crazy_ about each other. Mission accomplished, I am _out_ of here!_

"Wow, I bet television is so different now," Lucrecia said, finally tearing her eyes away from Vincent and getting to her feet. "_Everything_ is different now…"

Yuffie thought she saw Vincent wince out of the corner of her eye but couldn't be sure, though from the look of wonder on Lucrecia's face she was certain the other woman hadn't meant _him _and simply didn't think about her words.

"Vinny, get the poor woman a TV!" Yuffie said as she headed for the door, turning toward him as he got to his feet and followed them across the room. "She has no idea what she's been missing. Hell, neither do you, so you guys can catch up together!"

"'Vinny'," Lucrecia repeated under her breath, smothering laughter behind one hand.

Vincent threw her a warning look. "Don't."

"I'm sorry, baby. Er…" Lucrecia coughed uncomfortably and turned bright red, looking down at her feet. "Vincent…"

Now Yuffie was trying hard not to laugh, though the harsh look on Vincent's face when he turned her way again was enough to silence her. At least she had a new piece of juicy gossip to share with Tifa!

"I'll walk you out, Yuffie," Vincent said flatly. "I realize the stairs are not well lit and it is getting dark." He slipped back into his boots and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes focusing in on her in a way that made her skin crawl.

"That's okay, I can manage!" Yuffie insisted, instantly filled with dread. Vincent was well aware that she was a ninja who had been thoroughly trained in stealth, balance, and most importantly, _sneaking around under the cover of darkness_. He knew full well that she did not need him to escort her up a single flight of darkened stairs. "Really, Vincent. You just got home from work. Go ahead and relax, spend some time with your… uh…? With her."

_DAMMIT! I'm going to be tasting my foot for the next _month_…_

"I insist."

Vincent reached past her to unlock and open the door, and when their eyes met she shivered involuntarily. He did not look pleased.

"It was nice to meet you, Yuffie!" Lucrecia said from behind them, a lot less uncomfortable than she had been before. She did not seem to realize that Vincent was being anything but polite to their guest. Yuffie managed to turn around and offer her a smile and wave despite how close to vomiting she felt.

"Same here!" she replied, surprised to find she actually meant it. Her mind had been put largely at ease now that she had spoken to Lucrecia for herself and seen that she wasn't the horrible monster she had pictured for so long. She still didn't trust her entirely and intended to keep a close eye on the situation, but she was a lot less worried about Vincent than she had been. Anyone with eyes could see that Lucrecia was just as infatuated with him as he was with her, and she hoped he would finally get to be happy. Now, she was worried about herself… and hoping what would currently make Vincent happy wasn't going to make _her _dead.

Yuffie jogged up the steps two at a time to make a point of the fact the she did not need any kind of assistance to safely make it to the top, pausing once she reached the vacant upper room to spin around with her hands on her hips. She looked down the stairs as Vincent made his way after her and stuck out her tongue, though a moment later she realized that taunting him was a fairly stupid thing to do. The moment he reached the top, she turned and bounded through the door and out onto the weathered front porch, desperate to escape the smothering building… and her unhappy friend.

"Seeya tomorrow, Vincent!" she called, about to make her escape to try to forget about the entire strange scenario for the night. Her solemn, morbid friend who could transform into a demon, his dead lover returned from the past, their grown son who had once lost his mind… How did she ever get mixed up in all of this, anyway?

"Not so fast, Yuffie."

She yelped as cool metal digits closed around her upper arm, firmly but not hard enough to cause pain. She hadn't even realized Vincent was behind her, his movements so quick and silent they continued to take her by surprise even after so long. How did a man his size move so quietly in those heavy boots?

"Hey, _let go!_" she demanded, spinning around to face him with a angry scowl on her face. She remembered not to yank away, aware that the claws of his prosthetic were sharp enough to tear her open. But she also trusted him not to hurt her… although when she looked up into his face his harsh expression sent a chill racing down her spine. He did, however, release his grip.

She slapped the folder of reports down on top of the banister and rubbed the arm he'd held with her other hand, even though it did not hurt in the slightest. It was easy to make Vincent feel guilty, and she had a feeling she was about to need every advantage she could get.

"How did you get inside my home, and why did you come?" Vincent asked, the ghostly quality of his deep voice even more chilling than usual as his eyes locked onto hers and held them captive.

"_Lucrecia invited me_ _in!_ Did you think I forced my way inside or something?!" Yuffie shouted, highly offended. "And I already _told_ you why I came over!"

"I know what you told me, Yuffie. And now I would like you to tell me the truth."

_Crap._

"Th-that _is_ the truth!" she exclaimed, pointing indignantly at the discarded folder. "Go ahead and _ask_ her! I knocked and she came to the door, and when I said I was looking for you she asked me in to wait til you got home. And _you_ agreed that some of these arrest reports were really important!"

"I did so mostly because I did not wish to have this conversation in front of Lucrecia. She does not need any more stress," Vincent said, pulling himself to his full height so that he towered over her. She _hated_ when he did that, as if he wasn't already intimidating enough. Even without his cloak obscuring most of his body and face, he easily managed to look frightening when he wanted to. For as much as he claimed to hate his appearance and called himself a monster and other derogatory terms at every turn, he often seemed to try to look as terrifying as possible. His untamed black hair fell into his face over top of his bandanna, his red eyes blazing beneath. He impatiently folded his arms across his chest with his claw on the outside, curling and uncurling the sharp metal digits to emphasize their danger.

"Oh _please_, Vinny, cut that shit out! I am _not _afraid of you," Yuffie said, rolling her eyes. She hoped he couldn't tell that her stomach was tying itself in knots, or see the way she was trembling ever so slightly.

"Why did you come here?" he demanded again, continuing to stare at her without moving a muscle. He didn't even blink.

"I- I told you! I…" Yuffie paused and swallowed hard, watching as Vincent's eyes narrowed to slits. She didn't like the way he was looking at her at all. It was threatening, nearly predatory, and images of a large angry demon flashed through her mind. "Uh…"

Yuffie stood frozen as Vincent continued to stare her down. She could see the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing rate increased, which was a very bad sign, and there was an accusation in his eyes that made her want to turn and run. But then he suddenly frowned and released a heavy sigh, his posture relaxing slightly. He closed his eyes for several tense seconds and seemed to be battling with himself… _no, with Chaos_… until he finally shook his head with disgust.

"I apologize. I am a bit… protective of her."

"_It's safe here, at least."_

Yuffie's eyes widened as Lucrecia's words replayed inside her mind, tilting her head as she studied her friend. Suddenly, his harsh reaction to her presence in his home made a lot more sense, and she felt like an idiot for not thinking about it sooner. Lucrecia had just managed to escape from Hojo's laboratory and was likely being hunted down as they spoke. She needed Vincent's protection no matter what her other motives for seeking him out, something he would have taken very seriously. He had only just gotten her back after over thirty years of separation, and had always blamed himself for her death. Of _course_ he was on edge and bound to be overprotective of her! It also explained why Lucrecia had seemed so nervous, and why it appeared that Vincent was hiding her away from the rest of the base. He _was_, she realized, because he was terrified that something might happen to her again. Finding Yuffie inside his home so close to Lucrecia when he was not there to keep watch over her must have been extremely unsettling, and a wave of guilt washed over the young ninja.

"Hey, Vincent… I'm really sorry if I upset you," she began awkwardly, kicking at a loose section of flooring, the same one she'd tripped over on her way in. "I wasn't trying to hurt her or anything, I promise. We were just chatting, that's all. I'm sorry if I was bugging her, but she really didn't seem to mind. I just-"

"No, no… She likely enjoyed your company…"

Vincent looked down at his boots, his voice almost… sad. Yuffie watched him quietly, unsure of what to say. This was even more awkward than knocking at the door and being faced with Lucrecia. She wanted to bid him good night and turn and flee, but something made her stay. Dammit, it was her conscience. She wouldn't be able to face him every day if she didn't come clean and left him standing there like that. He knew she was still lying about why she had come, and the last thing she wanted was this incident hanging between them. It was hard enough to try to be his friend, and Vincent certainly had enough on his mind at the moment.

"Listen, I…" she paused and swallowed hard, watching as he lifted his head and focused his gaze upon her. His expression was unreadable again, his bangs trailing into his face. "Okay, fine, I didn't come here because of the damn reports, okay?" she snapped, frowning at him as if the entire thing was his fault and balling her hands into fists at her sides. "But you already knew that, because you're so freaking paranoid."

"It helped that you've never come here before…"

"Whatever! Do you want to hear this or not?!" Yuffie exclaimed in frustration, feeling her face grow hot with embarrassment.

Vincent nodded once, unfolding his arms and instead clasping his hand and claw together behind his back. The change from his defensive stance seemed meant to show his willingness to listen. Yuffie took a deep breath, shuffling her feet and looking everywhere but at him as she gathered her courage.

"Okay, look. Whether you like it or not, you're my friend, and I… care what happens to you," she began. Her voice was quiet but she knew he could hear her. "I know what happened to you in the past, and what… _she_ did to you."

"Yuffie…"

His deep voice came out as a low warning, expressing his immediate aversion to a single negative word being spoken about the woman he loved. Yuffie lifted her head and raised one small hand in the air, however, meeting his dark look with one of her own.

"No, wait! Listen to me this time, will you?!" she heard herself exclaim, shocked by her own boldness. Vincent blinked as if stunned by her outburst, and though he looked pained he allowed her to continue. "I came here because I was _worried_ about you!"

"Worried about me…?" he repeated, lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you dummy!" she said with a crooked grin, trying to hide her embarrassment. "I don't… you know… I don't want to see you get your heart broken again, okay?! 'Cause… that would really suck… and stuff."

Now she _really_ wanted to run, but her feet remained hopelessly rooted in place as she stared at them and blushed fiercely. The silence that greeted her statement was deafening, and for a moment she wondered if Vincent had retreated back into the basement. But then she heard a quiet sigh, cautiously lifting her head to find him staring out into the night.

"While I appreciate your concern… there is no need," he said quietly. "We have worked things out." A ghost of a smile crossed his lips, and for just a moment, Yuffie swore he looked at peace.

"Now that I've actually met Lucrecia and seen you two together… I'm a lot less worried," she admitted when he said nothing more. "She's… nothing like I expected. And I think you guys are _really_ cute together!"

She giggled when Vincent looked her way with an expression of genuine surprise, and she could have sworn his pale cheeks colored ever so slightly. She felt the tension in the air between them finally melt away, relieved to be able to breathe easy again. When she saw the rare contentment in Vincent's eyes, she couldn't hold back the sudden impulse that washed over her. She rushed forward and threw her thin arms around him, catching him off guard in a fierce embrace.

"I'm really happy for you, Vinny," she said, meaning every word. He grunted and remained tense, but finally raised one arm and briefly returned the embrace before she released him, playfully hopping away as if she expected him to retaliate. For once, he didn't bother to correct her about his name.

"Thank you…" he said softly, watching her with eyes that seemed focused inward.

"Now get back in there and enjoy it!" Yuffie ordered with a grin, picking up the folder and pointing toward the door with her free hand.

Vincent nodded seriously, but after a pause one corner of his mouth twitched upward in a partial attempt at a smile. Yuffie's mouth dropped open, amazed. It wasn't _quite _a real smile, but it was a start. She grinned back, jumped down the six porch steps all at once, and started to jog toward home. But after a moment she skid to a stopped and turned around, calling back to Vincent just before he closed the door.

"And Vinny! Clean your filthy house!"

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **This thing ended up way longer than intended! Funny how a short little scene idea became enormous, haha. Anyway, I hope it contained the proper mix of serious and… well, Yuffie. I got this idea because it occurred to me that when Lucrecia first arrived in town in _Life After Death_, I never really wrote anything about the reactions of the others aside from Aeris and Sephiroth. They all knew about the Jenova Project and what Lucrecia did (at least in general) to Vincent from his summary of events in _Irony of Fate _Chapter 2, so when she shows up again and is suddenly involved with him, I figured anyone who cared about him might be a touch concerned. No one else really has much of a relationship with him because of how distant he is, but all through _Irony of Fate _Yuffie had been developing a kind of friendship with him, and looked up to him as a father figure in a way (Never gonna buy the romance thing there! No way, no how). So it made sense to me that she might have been a bit alarmed, and of course damn curious, about Lucrecia when she reappears. And since the scene also had potential for awkwardness and comedy, I _had_ to write it. I hope you all enjoyed it and will take a moment to let me know what you thought. I spent a ton of time on it trying to make it as close to perfect and as good a read as I could, so I'd love to know how I did. Thanks so much! You can expect more to be posted here soon for sure, because going back in time is fun! ~ _JenesisX_ ))


	2. Rocking the Cradle

_**Scene Two: Rocking the Cradle**_

((**Author's Notes**: This scene was originally posted under _Life's Little Challenges_, as result of the random word challenge 'Baby.' I never quite felt like it belonged there, though, and I definitely spent a lot more than an hour on it. Now that I've created this series, I feel it should be posted here instead. It occurs some time between Chapter Sixteen of _Transformations_ and the beginning of _Internal Warfare_. We really don't see what's going on with Tseng and Elena after _On My Honor _other than his brief appearance in that chapter, so here is a bit of insight into his mind as he deals with the Turks' situation in Junon and the fact that he's going to be a father. I got pretty much no feed back on this before, so I'd very much appreciate it! _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

Tseng sat on the newly installed carpeting in the spare bedroom, holding a laminated sheet of instructions in his hands. He supposed he really ought to stop thinking of the room that way. It was in the process of being transformed, and before long it would no longer be unoccupied. The very thought forced him to pause in his work, looking around at the mess that surrounded him as his mind began to wander.

He sat with one long leg stretched out in front of him, several polished lengths of wood resting against it. His other leg was tucked in close to his body, a bag of various screws and bolts resting on his bent knee. All around him, various sections of the crib he was constructing were spread out in different stages of completion. It was far from a difficult task for a man who was able to build bombs and other complicated devices from memory, but it was taking far longer than it should have because he couldn't seem to keep his mind focused on the task. Every time he looked around the room, or stopped to really think about what he was doing and why, it all came racing back. By the end of the year, he would be a father.

Though far from finished, the small room was slowly beginning to look like a proper nursery… and it terrified him. Elena had been thrilled when he'd brought home the gil Vincent donated for the room and baby's other needs, and he knew she had left a thank you note at his office. Tseng was far too embarrassed to do so himself, unable to shake the deep feeling of failure that went along with his inability to provide for his own child. At least he'd been able to keep she and Elena safe… Ever since receiving the gift, Elena had happily begun picking out things for the nursery, even though their daughter's birth was still some time away. Though still nervous and stunned by the situation, she had quickly begun to move past it toward excitement and anticipation. Tseng envied her, though at the same time he thought she was not really thinking things through.

They were hardly ideal parents in the best of situations to welcome their first child into the world, after all. They'd been hiding their relationship for a year because of their positions at work, until Elena learned she'd accidentally become pregnant. Then they'd had to run for their lives and become fugitives on house arrest under the protection of their former enemies. Suddenly they were living together instead of sneaking around, still adjusting to _that _change and their new lives. Not to mention that Shin-ra might attack the base at any time, and there was no telling what they might try to do in way of revenge for their escape and the fact that Tseng had murdered Professor Hojo. Some environment for an infant…

Tseng looked back at the instructions, frowning and trying to concentrate on his work again. Elena had gone out to lunch with Aeris, Shera and Lucrecia, and he wanted to have _something_ accomplished by the time she returned. She knew that he already loved their daughter and would do anything for her, but also realized that he was very nervous and reluctant about becoming a parent. He wanted nothing more than to ease her mind and make her happy, even if it required keeping his concerns largely to himself. He didn't want her to worry while she was pregnant and had enough on her mind. Elena seemed so happy, and though it was a tired cliché she really did seem to glow. Tseng was not about to take that from her. He would _not _be weak when she was demonstrating such amazing strength.

He turned to the next page, his dark eyes immediately drawn to an illustration of a man gently placing a baby girl inside a completed crib. Tseng found he couldn't look away, struck much harder by the simple image than he ever would have expected. A father and daughter, the way it should be… a life that would soon be his reality. Gods, how was he ever going to manage?

Tseng was a man of many skills and a wealth of life experiences that had brought him from one side of the Planet to the other. He was an expert with firearms of all kinds, as well as explosives, knives, and many other types of weapons. He was a deadly yet perfectly controlled martial artist, he could pick almost any lock, and his ability to gather intelligence was superior to anyone on the Planet. He was a natural leader whose quiet confidence and command presence inspired others to listen and respect his decisions, yet he knew when to bend the rules and never violated his own code of honor. His pain tolerance had grown incredibly high over the years, and he'd survived injuries that should have killed him more than once. He was highly intelligent, completely bilingual, and a very dangerous man when he chose to be. But everything he had learned over the years and all the skills he had acquired suddenly amounted to absolutely nothing. If he'd thought he was ill prepared to fall in love and develop a serious relationship with Elena, when it came to fatherhood he was poised at the edge of a very steep cliff without benefit of a parachute. He knew absolutely nothing aside from his father's aloof and controlling example, something he did not care to repeat, and even less about how to actually care for a baby. What in the hells was he supposed to do with an infant who would grow into a little girl? _His_ little girl…

Tseng felt his chest tighten as his eyes roamed across the pale purple walls of the nursery, the palm of one hand brushing across the plush carpeting. It was also purple but several shades darker, and everything Elena had bought so far was perfectly coordinated. The room was so soft, so gentle… Tseng suddenly felt very out of place even sitting on the floor. While he did indeed have a warm and tender side no one but Elena had ever seen, his exterior remained cool and detached, his expression often unreadable. He was uncomfortable with outward displays of emotion after a lifetime of burying them far beneath the surface. If he was still struggling to remove the mask of indifference he wore even for his lover, how could he possibly be a good father? He didn't want his daughter to grow up thinking he didn't care just because he didn't know how to show her…

Tseng was most comfortable when he had a mission with a clear goal, and his first days of 'fatherhood' had been just that. The shock and strong emotions he'd felt when Elena told him she was pregnant had been largely hidden beneath his need to handle the situation. He'd needed to speak to Rufus to keep them both from being fired for their indiscretions with each other, then approach Hojo to be sure his strange interest in their unborn child was properly curbed. When everything had gone horribly wrong, he'd focused on the battle to rescue Elena and get them to safety with the help of Reno and Rude… and Reeve, too. Missions, battles, objectives. Those things felt safe to him, even when his life was in danger, and they fit neatly together in his mind in perfect order. But once he had reached his goal and gotten them safely to Junon Harbor, there had been nothing left to do. He finally had time to stop and _think_ about everything that had happened, and everything that was _going _to happen… and it was nearly overwhelming.

One thing, however, was immediately clear. Somewhere along the way, as he'd fought to free himself and Elena from Shin-ra Headquarters and get them to safety, he'd started thinking about the unborn child she carried. A daughter, Hojo had told her while he briefly held her captive. _Their_ daughter… Suddenly it wasn't just Elena he was fighting so hard to protect, and the realization left him stunned and confused. How could he come to care for the small life developing within his lover so quickly? Visions of a tiny, helpless infant flashed before his eyes, and he knew at that moment he already loved his daughter. But was that enough?

Tseng hated the way his reservations made Elena fear that he didn't want their child, and he'd had to reassure her many times that he had no regrets about what he'd done. But he would also never lie to her… He missed his job with the Turks and his freedom. His pride was wounded each time he had to take orders from Avalanche and perform menial tasks around the base for room and board, and the ankle monitoring bracelets they wore added insult to injury. It was worth it to keep she and their baby safe, however, and he would have done it all again without a second thought. She was unconvinced, however, and Tseng sighed heavily as the guilt washed over him. It shouldn't be this way. He wanted her to be secure in the knowledge of how much he loved her, how much he meant it when he promised to never leave her side and to always be there for their daughter. Instead he was so nervous he would fail as a father that he had her wondering if he even wanted the role.

Did he, though? It was a question he still asked himself as he finally got to his knees and began attaching two sections of the crib's frame. He needed to do something to relieve the tension building inside his mind before it drove him mad, and he knew Elena would be home shortly. He had never planned to have a family… He'd been married to his career since he was a young man, and once he became the head of the Turks he simply did not have the time. He'd never met anyone who interested him enough to consider having a serious relationship with even if he'd cared to, anyway. Until the day Elena had walked into his office, and changed everything. Still, he'd never considered having a _child_ with her! They were Turks, and their relationship was a carefully guarded secret because she was his subordinate and he could lose his job if they were found out. Elena was rather young and only just beginning her career, and by now Tseng figured he was too old to consider starting a family and chasing after little ones even if they had been in a more stable situation. Had he ever really desired to be a father? If he was honest with himself, the answer was no. But once it happened, what he felt took him completely by surprise.

The near instinctive need to protect his lover and their unborn child was so strong he would have done anything, and had in fact killed outside of his work for the first time because Hojo had dared lay a hand upon them. He hadn't even thought about it, and there were no regrets. Now all he wanted to do was be at Elena's side and keep her from harm, but it wasn't just she he was working to protect. Sometimes when he gazed at his lover, he could see a tiny baby girl with the same clear blue eyes, and the need to reach out and hold her was overwhelming. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Elena, and the thought that they had conceived a child together… created a new life out of the bond they shared… was amazing. He never thought he would get to share that experience with someone, especially someone he cared about so deeply. He still could not believe he had her in his life, and now he would have a daughter as well. Suddenly he was not a man who lived only for his job, coming home to an empty apartment each night or traveling on a mission with no one to call before he went to sleep each night. It still felt unreal as he connected two large sections and stood them up, glancing at the instructions before reaching for the next few pieces he needed. Tseng had a family for the first time since leaving home in his teens… and in some ways, for the first time in his life.

_Gods I don't want to mess this up…_

As he aligned the next two pieces and prepared to begin screwing them together, he heard a key in the front door and closed his eyes, hanging his head in frustration with himself. He had accomplished so little, and now Elena was home and would think he didn't care enough to put out much effort. She had worked so hard on the nursery while he was working around Junon Harbor with Reno and Rude, and he couldn't even manage to build a few pieces of furniture like he'd promised. This did not bode well for his chances at successful fatherhood, or how much faith she was likely to have in his abilities.

He was still staring down at the two separate pieces when he felt Elena standing behind him in the doorway, quietly taking in the scene. She knew he was aware of her presence and seemed to be waiting for him to say something or turn around to greet her. When he didn't, he could almost _hear _her frown before she entered the room and came to his side, dropping down to her knees beside him.

"Did I pick out a really difficult one?" she asked sympathetically, taking in the many pieces of the crib that surrounded him.

Tseng snorted through his nose, a bit offended. "I haven't been away from the Turks _that_ long, Elena."

She laughed, but it was not with amusement. It was nervous laughter, something she did out of habit any time he made her uneasy. He sighed heavily and lifted a hand to rub the center of his forehead, the headache that had begun to form from leaning over all afternoon only growing worse.

"Are you getting a migraine?" she asked him, instantly concerned. It was so like her. She forgot her own discomfort the second she thought he needed her, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"No. I am the one who should be worrying about you."

He finally lifted his head and turned to look at her, managing to soften his expression and favor her with a slight smile. Her pregnancy had only just begun to show, and she had never looked more beautiful in his eyes. He wished he was the kind of man who was able to tell her so, but when their eyes met she seemed almost able to read his thoughts. She smiled and moved closer, leaning in against his body and resting her head on his shoulder. He draped his arm around her and held her there, suddenly feeling a lot less tense.

"There's no reason to worry about me," she said, placing one small hand against his thigh. "I've been feeling great and I'm so happy." She moved her free hand to rest upon the developing roundness at her midsection, her blue eyes shining.

"All right then. I'm sorry I did not finish this for you…"

"It's okay. What happened?"

Tseng paused, unwilling to lie to her but realizing the truth would be difficult to explain. "Are you sure you wish to know?" he asked, looking down at her hand resting on his leg and studying it as if it was fascinating.

"Of course I do," Elena said softly. "Come sit on the couch with me? My feet are falling asleep!"

Tseng nodded, grateful for the suggestion after hours of sitting uncomfortably on the floor. He hated to admit it, but he wasn't in his twenties any more, and his near-fatal injury the previous year had really taken its toll. He rose to his feet first with more effort than he would have liked, then reach down and practically lifted Elena onto her own. She giggled and stepped forward to embrace him, and they stood and held each other for a moment before making their way to the living room and settling onto the couch.

Tseng leaned into the cushions, glad to have support for his aching back and neck. He lifted his arm to allow Elena to settle in against him almost without thinking about it. He had never been big on being touched or cuddling, even in past 'relationships,' but Elena had changed him. Everything about her and the connection they shared felt different from the very beginning, and none of his previous ideas and preferences seemed to apply. He supposed that was what happened when you fell in love for the first time…

"So what happened?" Elena finally asked when he showed no signs of speaking. Tseng frowned, half hoping she might forget about it and simply enjoy relaxing with him for the rest of the afternoon.

"I started thinking, and lost track of time. That was all."

"Tseng…" Elena said in that particular tone she used, part scolding and part disbelief, when she knew he was trying to slip something important past her without explaining what he meant. "_You_ don't just get distracted like that unless it's something serious. I said I wanted to know if you're willing to talk about it…"

"I know… Give me a moment."

Tseng shifted his weight, realizing he was trapped and doing his best not to show how nervous he was. She could read him quite easily by now, and though he realized it was probably useless, he could not help but try to mask his feelings. He knew it frustrated her to no end and she longed for the day when he would completely drop his guard and more easily share things with her, but it still made him feel so vulnerable and exposed. He had his moments when he was able to open up quite well, but it was not something he could do on demand or under pressure.

Thankfully, Elena knew this and loved him deeply enough to be patient and to help make it easier for him to express himself. She reached out and placed her hand against his cheek, turning his face toward her so their eyes met. "Take your time, sweetheart. You know I love you." She stretched up and kissed him softly, and Tseng held onto her for long moments, drawing strength and courage from the love she had for him.

"I was thinking about her. Do you really think I will be a good father?"

It could have easily been the hundredth time Tseng had asked his lover that question, but it was asked with just as much intensity, his need for an answer every bit as desperate. He looked into her eyes and tightened his arm around her, his heart racing in his chest. He felt sick to his stomach, her approval of him as the father of her child meaning more than anything ever had.

"Gods, Tseng…" she whispered, tears shining in her eyes. "You're still worrying about that?"

He nodded, feeling weak and pitiful. She brought her hand back to his cheek and he leaned into her touch, watching as a single tear trailed down her smooth skin. "You will be an amazing father… because you already are."

He blinked in surprise, watching curiously as she reached across him for his free hand and brought it towards her body. She moved her shirt aside and placed his palm flat against her bare stomach, covering his hand with her own. It felt strange at first, but once he relaxed there was something nearly sacred about the gesture, and it was a bit difficult to focus as Elena continued to speak in a soft voice.

"When I was a little girl, I always dreamed that I would have hero, someone who would come and take me away from all my troubles. And more than anything, I wanted that hero to be my dad. I think most little girls look up to their fathers, the first man in their lives, you know? But my dad was more interested in the bottle than his family, and it took me almost until I left home to join the Turks to finally admit that he was never going to be the hero I longed for. It's silly, because I was already an adult, but when I realized that it broke my heart."

Elena looked up and met his eyes, and for a moment Tseng wondered what in the world this had to do with he and the baby. He knew all about Elena's childhood, and she knew much of his difficult background as well. If she needed to talk about it, though, he would be there for her and listen for as long as she needed him to.

"I'm so relieved to know that my daughter will _never _have to go through that," Elena continued, fresh tears in her eyes as she gripped Tseng's hand tightly atop her abdomen. "Her hero saved her life when she was just weeks old in my womb. Her daddy gave up everything for her without even thinking about it. Learning to change a diaper or warm a bottle is easy. I had so many younger siblings… I can teach you all of that. But what you did? _That_ can't be taught, Tseng. That's selfless, unconditional love. Our daughter is extremely lucky… and so am I. It may have taken me a while, but I'd rather find my hero late than never."

Elena had reached up and thrown her arms around Tseng's neck so quickly that he barely saw her move. Her lips found his and she kissed him passionately, and once he got over the initial shock he shifted his arm to support the back of her neck and returned it, nearly overcome with the deep emotions her words had stirred within him. As he held her protectively in his arms, for just a moment Tseng nearly believed he was the gallant hero she'd always longed for.


	3. Cat Fight

_**Scene Three: Cat Fight**_

((**Author's Notes**: This lovely moment between Reno and Rude happened at some point during the first half of _Transformations_. So you think these two always get along, huh? Well, look out, someone is pissed! Living together under tense conditions can make even the best of friends get under each other's skin after a while. **Warning**: There's a lot of profanity in this if that sort of thing bothers you. _~ JenesisX _))

* * *

"_RENO!_"

Rude's deep voice boomed down the hallway and into Reno's bedroom, causing the redhead to close his eyes and cringe with dread.

"Fuck, what now," he muttered, closing the PlaySOLDIER magazine he'd been 'reading' and setting it aside on his bed. He pulled himself onto his elbows and stared expectantly at the door, knowing he wouldn't have long to wait. Sure enough, a few seconds later the door was flung open hard enough to slam into the wall behind it. Before he had time to process what was happening, something orange and white came sailing toward him at a high rate of speed. Reno ducked instinctively, raising one arm to cover his face. The furry missile landed on the bed beside him with a heavy thud, yowling with displeasure.

"MRROW!"

Reno scrambled to get out of bed but got his left foot tangled up in the sheets, his beloved cat already tearing past Rude and out of the bedroom in a blur of stripes. Reno stumbled and caught himself on the battered wooden trunk he used for storage, knocking over a haphazard collection of empty beer and soda cans with a loud clatter. He finally managed to stand upright and spun around, his face already bright red with anger.

"Yo, man! I _told_ you not to hurt my-"

"That dirty motherfucker shit in my slippers again!" Rude shouted at the same, pointing an accusatory finger at Reno as if he had been the one to do it. The big man took up the entire doorway, his bald head just barely clearing the frame as he glared over the top of his dark glasses. "I'm fucking _tired_ of it, Reno! Every god damn day, he does something else to my stuff!"

Reno blinked, his anger at friend's treatment of his pet momentarily forgotten. Despite his massive frame, Rude was a man of few words, and when he did speak his deep voice was usually kept to a reasonable volume unless he was _really_ drunk or needed to shout during a mission… or if someone insulted his Momma. Reno could not recall a time Rude had _ever_ yelled at him, and for a moment he had absolutely no idea how to respond.

A very _brief _moment.

"Maybe if you weren't such a fucking _pussy_ who abused helpless animals, he wouldn't do shit like that to you!" Reno shouted back, unafraid despite his much smaller build. Avalanche had left them completely unarmed, and he was pretty sure Rude easily could break his neck with one hand, but he wasn't thinking rationally at the moment. This was _Pissy_ they were talking about, and that cat was his baby. He wasn't going to stand by and let anyone, even his best friend, mistreat him.

"What… did you just call me…?" Rude nearly growled, his dark eyes narrowing to slits behind his shades. He took a slow step forward, glaring down from him superior height as a muscle twitched along his jaw. Reno rolled his eyes to hide his growing concern, his pulse pounding at his temples. He really didn't want to get the shit kicked out of him that evening, but he wasn't about to back down, either. He had his pride, after all… and his temper.

"Dude, get the fuck out of my room and go calm down."

"Calm down? _Calm down?! _This is the _third time _this week, Reno!" Rude exclaimed, making no move to leave but not coming any closer, either. He folded his arms across his broad chest, muscles bulging beneath his tight black t-shirt. "And he pissed on those god damn dirty towels you left on the bathroom floor, too. Of course _I_ was the one who picked them up to take downstairs to the washer, since you never do _shit_ around here. I held them right up against my chest before I realized it, so it got all over me! Remember _that?!_"

Reno almost burst into giggles, but caught himself just in time when he realized that Rude seemed nearly hysterical. He was yelling at the top of his lungs, his voice filling the small room. What the hell had gotten into him? So what if Pissy did some bad things now and then? He was a stupid fucking cat. It was what they _did_… at least he assumed, since he'd never had one before. Some of it was kind of gross, but Reno found most of his pet's antics to be pretty damn funny. Apparently, _someone_ lacked a sense of humor… and probably needed to get laid, too. Gods, so did he, but he didn't go barging into people's rooms at one in the fucking morning and screaming at them because of it!

"Yeah, all right," Reno finally relented, holding up both hands in front of him in a show of peace. Rude was _really_ upset, and the last thing he really wanted was to get into a fist fight with his best friend right there in his bedroom. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll get your slippers dry cleaned for you in the morning. But you can't fucking throw him around like... That's my little buddy, man."

Rude snorted, running a hand over his bald head. He heaved a sigh and met Reno's eyes, his posture relaxing slightly. For a moment, Reno thought he was about to agree and offer an apology of his own, the argument forgotten along with so many others on the subject over the past few weeks. But then he shook his head and frowned, glaring downward as Pissy made his way back into the room and hopped up onto Reno's bed as if nothing had happened.

"I've tried to tolerate him, Reno, I really have. But I just can't do it any more," Rude said, watching the cat with disgust as he rubbed against Reno's hand and purred so loudly it echoed across the room. "I fucking _hate_ cats, I always have. They're just so… dirty. There's kitty litter all over the fucking apartment. Everything is _crunchy_. It's even in my bed, dude… in my _sheets_!" His voice had begun to rise again and Reno lifted an eyebrow, wondering what his point was. _So? _"It makes such a mess, and after _all of that_ the motherfucker would _still_ rather piss and shit almost anywhere but in the damn box!"

Reno snickered, but quickly wiped the amusement off his face when Rude only glared more severely. Pissy stood up on his hind legs, purring more loudly and trying harder to win Reno's attention. He reached out and began to pet him absently, though he kept his tired, bloodshot eyes focused on Rude.

"Hey, I _said_ I was sorry, man. I'll even wash your damn sheets-"

"It's not just that, Reno!" Rude loudly interrupted, shaking his head. "The whole place reeks! As soon as you walk in, you smell cat pee. Now it isn't just _you _who smells like it, it's me, too! The furniture they gave us already sucked, but he's tearing it to ribbons, and I doubt Avalanche plans to give us a new living room set every few months because you have a pet with no fucking manners. And I- …. _Stop fucking smiling_, it isn't funny!"

Reno quickly banished the grin that had broken free and replaced it with his best Tseng impression. It didn't last long, however. "Sorry man, it's just… _Dude_. I was laying in bed looking at a PlaySOLDIER, it's after one in the fucking morning, then all of a sudden you barge in here screaming in your chocobo racer pajamas and throw my stupid cat at me…" Reno shook his head and yawned, unable to help but release another giggle. "Admit it, it's a little bit funny."

"You need to get rid of him, Reno."

"…. what?"

"The god damn cat. He's got to go."

In Rude's matter-of-fact statement, weeks of pent up frustration and anger were suddenly released, and he looked smugly satisfied for a moment as he stood hovering in the doorway. It was as if he had been waiting, gathering his nerve, for so long that the words were a relief to finally speak aloud. Reno blinked, his mouth dropping open as he stared at his best friend in shock. It took him a moment to comprehend what he'd just heard, and when he did he exploded.

"What the fuck?! _NO!" _Now Reno was shouting at the top of _his_ lungs, his hands thrown into the air and his aqua blue eyes glaring icy daggers across the room. "Are you on _crack_, Rude?! I would _never_ do that! How can you even _say_ that to me?!"

"He's ruining this place and making my life even worse than it already is here!" Rude yelled back. "It isn't fair! This is my apartment, too!"

"So what am I supposed to do, you big baby? Just get rid of him?! That's fucked up, man! You're a real asshole if you expect me to do that!"

"He's not even supposed to _be_ here! Tseng trusted you to get Elena to safety, not go back to your apartment for your fucking dirty cat! Nice priorities, man. Real fucking nice!"

Reno felt something snap when Rude spoke those words, gritting his teeth and balling his hands into fists at his sides. He crossed the room in an instant and poked his finger right into Rude's thick chest, not caring that the other man towered over him. He was so furious that his vision had gone red, and he was a heartbeat away from doing something extremely foolish.

"How dare you!" he hissed, glaring up into Rude's face. "I got her here, didn't I?! So FUCK YOU!" He roughly shouldered his way past his partner and through the doorway, thinking of nothing but getting away from the situation before he did something he'd regret. He knew his temper was an enormous bomb about to go off, and over many years Tseng had finally succeeded in teaching him to walk away and cool his heels when he felt himself losing control. Most of the time, anyway. This time, it may have prevented the brawl of the century.

Reno stormed through the small apartment to the front door yanked it open. He heard the door to Rude's bedroom slam shut behind him, relieved he was not going to follow him and continue the argument. Reno stepped out into the hallway and slammed the apartment door behind him as hard as he possibly could in an effort to outdo his roommate, rattling the walls of the aging building and feeling a bit of satisfaction at the release of some of his pent up rage.

It was late, and he was wearing only a sleeveless gray t-shirt, blue and white boxers, and socks. There was also his Avalanche-enforced curfew and ankle monitoring bracelet to consider, so he knew he couldn't go anywhere outside the building anyway. Reno sighed and approached the round table in the middle of the common area between his apartment and Tseng and Elena's. Since the rest of their part of the old building was unoccupied, the four Turks had turned it into an area where they could sit and hang out together… or escape each other during events such as this one. Only Reno was pretty sure he and Rude were the only ones who ever ended up sitting out there alone because they were annoyed with each other. Wasn't it the fucking _couple_ who should be having all the spats, especially with a hormonal pregnant woman in the mix? Then again, they were probably still getting it on. It always came down to that as far as Reno was concerned.

Reno lowered himself into one of the mismatched chairs and allowed his head to clunk forward onto the table with a miserable groan. He knew there were _tons_ of open apartments in Junon Harbor. Why had Avalanche insisted on cramming the four of them into one of the oldest buildings on the base, one that also had some of the smallest apartments, while at the same time forcing Reno and Rude to share a single unit? Did they think they were being funny? Would it really have been so damn difficult to let one of them live next door? They could have easily given Tseng and Elena a larger apartment in the adjoining building and let Reno and Rude turn this one into one big bachelor pad. But nooo…

"Fucking hell…. I hate Junon Harbor."

Reno swore as he heard a door open, not in the mood to continue fighting with Rude. He had just started to calm down and slow his breathing, and keeping after him while he was ticked off was never wise. Rude knew that, dammit, but he was pretty pissed, too, and not thinking with a clear head. Normally Reno would have jumped up and continued where he left off, but this argument was different than most, and it left him drained and exhausted. His emotions had run so high that the only way left to go was down. The fire had gone out of him the moment he left the apartment, and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and go to sleep. He didn't even bother to lift his head, briefly raising one hand in greeting before allowing it to slap back down onto the table top.

"If you're going to kill me, just get it over with quickly," he mumbled against the table. At least he wouldn't have to watch.

"That was not my intention, although Elena might want to take you up on that offer."

_Fuck. Can this night get any worse?_

Reno sighed and slowly lifted his head, turning toward the apartment across from his own. Tseng was standing in the doorway wearing a black robe over a dark t-shirt and sweat pants, and after looking Reno over for a moment he stepped out into the hallway and quietly pulled the door closed behind him.

"Heh, sorry. Did we wake you guys?"

Tseng lifted an eyebrow, though he otherwise remained expressionless. "Oh, no. We were oblivious to all the screaming and cursing on the other side of our bedroom wall. It lulled us right to sleep."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're fucking hilarious, boss?"

"No," he said, approaching the table and taking a seat across from Reno. "If I go into your apartment, am I going to find Rude's body?"

Reno stared at Tseng for a long time, trying to figure out if he was kidding or not. He finally gave up and settled for answering the question. "If you do, my cat killed him, because he was fine when I came out here."

"Good. Can I ask what's going on, then? We thought we were under attack when we woke up to that racket, and it isn't good for Elena to be under such stress…"

Tseng's usual calm expression hardened, and Reno cringed and looked down at the table. He hated to disappoint their former leader, the man he looked up to more than anyone on the Planet. Gods, Rude had already thrown it in his face that he'd taken about thirty seconds with Elena's permission to grab his cat from his apartment in Shin-ra Headquarters before they left, and now he realized his yelling was potentially endangering she and Tseng's unborn child. What kind of an irresponsible idiot _was_-

"Reno?"

He lifted his head at the sound of Tseng's voice, feeling ashamed of himself and even worse than he had when he'd come out into the hallway to escape Rude. But when he looked across the table again, Tseng looked far more concerned than annoyed. Reno sighed, deciding he might as well unburden himself. He trusted his mentor completely, and he had already woken him up and gotten him out of bed after all. He might as well take advantage of any advice he could get. _He_ sure as hell didn't know what to do.

"Rude's all pissed off because of my cat, and he says I have to get rid of him," Reno said miserably, propping his chin up in both hands. "Personally, right now I'd rather get rid of Rude!"

Tseng folded his hands on the tabletop, looking thoughtful as he listened. Reno suddenly felt rather childish, like a kid who'd just had a really stupid fight with his best friend being scrutinized by his much wiser older sibling. Here was Tseng, preparing for parenthood with the woman he loved, and Reno was fighting with Rude over a pile of cat shit deposited in his fuzzy slippers. Sometimes he felt like there was a lot more than a decade of age difference between them.

"It's difficult to share living space with someone, especially when we were all thrown into it like this," Tseng said, causing Reno to roll his eyes.

"Right, because you have a clue about _that_, living over there happily ever after with Elena," he snorted. He knew it was mean, and that Tseng was only trying to help, but he was tired and in a foul mood, and he had left his cigarettes inside next to his bed. What he wouldn't have given for a smoke at that moment.

"What makes you think we asked to move in together, Reno?"

Reno blinked and stared at Tseng wordlessly before finally managing to form a reply. "Wait, what? But… you did, right?"

To him complete surprise, Tseng shook his head. "No. There was never any discussion about the matter. Aeris and Vincent said we could stay and that they would find us all a place to live, left me alone in the security office for a while, and when they returned we worked out the conditions and they had already chosen our apartments. I was never asked."

"Oh _wow_. I always just assumed that…" Reno trailed off, feeling like a complete asshole. But a moment later he frowned and shrugged. "But if they'd asked you that's what you both would have wanted anyway, yeah?"

He expected an immediate positive response, but Tseng again surprised him. His expression never changed, but his eyes dropped to the table. He appeared uncharacteristically hesitant and uncomfortable before he finally lifted his gaze. "Not necessarily," he said after a moment's pause.

"Seriously?!"

"Don't look at me like that, Reno. I'm obviously not about to walk away from her and the baby. But it was rather sudden to go from hiding our relationship and sneaking around just to see each other to living together."

Reno nodded thoughtfully, though in his head the benefits of having his girlfriend conveniently living in his apartment and available whenever he wanted to spend time with her seemed pretty clear cut… even if she _was_ pregnant. "Yeah, I guess so. But, shit, you two seem to get along just fine. I never hear _you_ guys screaming at each other or see one of you sitting out here all pissed off. And every time I see Elena she has that stupid grin on her face…"

Tseng finally allowed himself a small smile. "I'm not sure we've ever had a real argument. A few minor disagreements here and there, but nothing serious. And I'd hope you know me better than to think I'd ever raise my voice to her that way…"

"Boss, I don't think I've _ever _heard you really yell at anyone. Hell, you hardly even curse other than the stuff you mumble under your breath in Wutaiian. Although for all I know that might be _really_ nasty shit."

Tseng smirked, his dark eyes shining. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Fuck, what am I supposed to _do?_" Reno groaned, looking back at the door to his apartment as if it led into the mouth of hell. "We both have to live here, and Rude hates my cat… but there is no way in hell I'm getting rid of Pissy."

"It sounds like the conflict has gotten quite serious," Tseng said, and Reno was relieved that he was not taking the situation lightly. "I was afraid the two of you were going to come to blows."

"Heh, we almost did… that's why I left."

"So you _were_ actually listening to me some of the time."

Reno grinned crookedly. "Yeah, seems like it. Plus he's kind of a lot bigger than me and I didn't feel like getting beat to shit. Although if I'd gotten in a good thrust kick to his bad left knee…"

"Reno."

"Yeah, yeah… Dammit! This really sucks. My two best friends fucking hate each other and I'm stuck in the middle."

Tseng was quiet for a moment, lifting one hand to his chin and raising his eyes to the ceiling. He was now wide awake and carefully considering the problem as if it was his own, something that made him an effective leader and endeared him to those under his command. Reno had always known Tseng had his back and cared about what happened to him, not just about his assignments and the statistics for their department. If the way he'd helped him join the Turks when he was nothing but a young troublemaker desperate for guidance wasn't proof, he didn't know what was. Tseng had always done his job without being completely cold hearted and detached from the needs of his subordinates, yet his mask of professionalism never slipped during working hours. Often it was not until long afterward that Reno would realize how much he'd been looking out for his interests, even if doing so had required a reprimand at the time. Reno was suddenly glad his loud argument with Rude had awoken his mentor, because there was no one better to help solve his problem.

"I assume this issue has been developing for a while now?" Tseng asked, meeting Reno's tired eyes across the table.

"Yeah… I guess almost since we got here. Rude can't stand cats, and he's never liked Pissy. Any time he came to my apartment back home, Pissy would come over to greet him and he'd just shoo him away. Sometimes he was really mean about it, too. So Pissy started to hiss at him, and he scratched him a couple times. Then he started doing shit like drinking from his beer, stealing food off his plate, hanging around him even more… almost like it was on purpose because he could tell how much Rude hated it." Reno paused and snickered, recalling some of the more amusing moments and suddenly feeling even more homesick for Midgar than usual.

"Mm, yes. I remember some of that," Tseng agreed with a nod. "During our card games he did always seem to walk in front of Rude the most, and constantly put his rear end in his face. And the more Rude pushed him away, the more he did it."

Reno burst out laughing. "Yeah, see?! To Pissy it was a game, but Rude takes it so personally and really just fucking hates his guts. Everything he does makes him mad. Even back when Pissy was still trying to win him over, he just wanted no part of him. I don't fucking get it… He's just a cat!" Reno sighed heavily and shook his head, unable to understand how anyone could dislike his outgoing, affectionate feline.

"And that's it? Your cat just annoys him?" Tseng asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"Er, well… not exactly…"

Tseng sighed and briefly closed his eyes. "I feared as much. What else is Rude upset about?"

"Pissy, uh… well. He, uh…" Reno fidgeted in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable. He felt guilty for some reason, as if _he_ had done something wrong. Or was it because he was ratting out his little buddy? Whatever the reason, he looked down at his hands and began to pick at his fingernails as he spoke. "He's not always the best at using his litter box, okay?"

"What exactly does that mean, Reno?"

"Geez, can't you figure that out? Sometimes he pisses and shits in places he shouldn't!"

Tseng cringed. Reno was suddenly reminded that he was possibly even more neat and organized than Rude… although Rude's obsession with germs and cleaning was legendary. "Such as where…?"

"Why does that matter?" Reno demanded. He hated how close he sounded to pouting.

"Answer the question, Reno." Now Tseng sounded like he was drilling him for information at a debriefing for a mission gone wrong.

"Well…" he began, swallowing nervously. "Sometimes just the floor close by, in the bathroom. Which Rude hates, by the way. He says it makes it hard for him to take a dump when Pissy walks in and starts to drop a load while he's on the can." Reno broke out into a fit of helpless giggles, unable to comprehend how Tseng didn't even crack a smile. "But where else am I suppose to put the litter box?! It's a small apartment, and-"

"You're avoiding the question."

Reno sighed heavily. "You suck, boss. Okay, well, sometimes he likes to pee in damp towels or dirty laundry that's on the floor."

"Why are there towels or dirty laundry on the floor?"

Reno looked at Tseng like he was an idiot. Tseng stared back at him. "Because?"

"Because you are too lazy to put them in the hamper or wash them?"

"….. Who are you, fucking Rude?! I thought you were going to _help_ me!" Reno nearly shouted, leaping up from his chair and nearly knocking it over.

Tseng sighed and raised a hand to the bridge of his nose. "Reno. I am _trying _to help you. I'm asking questions so I can better understand the situation. And it is the middle of the night, so if I'm a bit less patient than usual I apologize."

Reno paused in mid step toward his apartment door, squeezing his eyes closed and cursing under his breath. He once again felt like a raging douche bag, turning around and meeting Tseng's eyes. The poor guy had probably been curled up sleeping with his pregnant girlfriend, been woken up by he and Rude screaming obscenities at each other, and was concerned enough to come out there and check on things. And now Reno was giving him a hard time for trying to help him sort out his mess. He might not have liked his method, but he at least owed it to him to listen. He was almost always right, after all, and what other options did he have at the moment? Reno slumped back into his chair with a heavy sigh, holding his head up in the palm of one hand and looking down at the table.

"Sorry… I'm in a really shitty mood."

"Understandable. But you do realize that you could prevent that issue by not leaving things on the floor for your cat to urinate on?"

"… yeah," Reno muttered, having heard the same argument from Rude countless times. "It's just… hard to remember. I've never been… you know. Neat and shit."

Tseng nodded, smiling faintly. "I know."

Reno couldn't help but grin a little. "I guess I could try harder. But that's not the only problem..."

"All right. Where else is he… going?"

"In some of Rude's stuff. He shit in his slippers again tonight. That was what started this whole thing, actually."

"'Again?' Where were his slippers?"

"In his room I guess."

"He lets Pissy in his bedroom?" Tseng raised his brow in surprise, shaking his head. "That makes no sense if he hates him so much." Reno tried not to giggle at his accented pronunciation of the cat's vulgar name. He usually avoided saying it.

"Not really, but he's always forgetting to close his door."

"Then it's his fault, too, in a way," Tseng said, much to Reno's delight. "That is something he could work on to help himself."

"Could you _please_ tell him that?!" Reno exclaimed, suddenly full of energy and sitting up straighter in his chair. "He won't listen to a thing I say about it. Everything is my fault because I'm a lazy slob, and my fucking cat is dirty and belongs outside, blah blah blah."

"After the argument the two of you just had, it might be helpful to have a neutral mediator," Tseng said thoughtfully. Reno grinned widely until his next words. "_Neutral_, Reno. I'm not going to take sides. I don't want to see the two of you at odds and I am willing to help you settle this, but if I get involved and speak to Rude it will be impartially."

Reno frowned, disappointed, but finally nodded. He understood that Tseng was friends with both of them, and while he may have been closer to Reno than he was to Rude, it wasn't fair to put him in the middle and ask him to take sides. As the former leader of the Turks, Tseng was experienced at settling disputes, and Reno was confident he would do so fairly. It was certainly better than going back into the apartment and risking another argument… or the possibility of losing either of his best friends.

"All right, boss… There's a lot more to it, but I guess we can save that for when we bring the big guy out here, eh?"

Tseng nodded, glancing toward their silent apartment. "I suppose I should go and get him?"

"Probably a good idea, he might kill me on sight, heh. And can you grab my cigarettes and lighter while you're in there? They're on the trunk next to my bed."

Tseng sighed under his breath and made a disgusted face, but finally nodded. "Of course." He rose and headed for the apartment door, knocking several times before he opened it and went inside. Reno heard a faint meow of greeting before he closed the door behind him.

Reno yawned, trying not to be nervous as he waited and wondered what was going on inside his apartment. He didn't even know if Rude would be willing to talk about the matter, even to Tseng. He had never seen his friend so angry before. And if they did talk, there was a chance it wouldn't do any good. Then what? Gods, he missed his apartment in Midgar, where it didn't matter how messy he was and what Pissy did. He never brought women back to his place at Headquarters, even if they were fellow Shin-ra employees. It was never good to reveal too much. Rude complained any time he came over to hang out, but it was Reno's home and his words hadn't really mattered then. They joked and teased each other about their habits, the way it was supposed to be between partners and best friends. They were inseparable and loved each other like brothers, but they were _never_ meant to live together.

After an estimated ten minutes had passed, Reno really started to worry. What if Rude was in there telling Tseng all kinds of horrible things about he and Pissy? Dammit, he hadn't thought about that possibility… maybe he should have gone inside, too. Sure, Tseng said he was going to remain neutral, but anyone could be swayed. Their former boss didn't seem like much of a pet person, after all, and would likely sympathize with Rude's desire to have a clean apartment.

_Shit. This might have been a really bad idea…_

Reno groaned miserably and started to climb to his feet, intent on heading inside and breaking up the conspiracy against him. But just as he did so the door to the apartment opened and Tseng exited, followed by a rather unhappy looking Rude.

The first thing he noticed was that Rude had changed out of his chocobo racer pajama bottoms and into a pair of plain navy blue sweat pants. He mentally gave himself a point, amused that his offhand comment had embarrassed his friend enough to make him change. He quickly deducted that point when he realized he was sitting there in his boxers and a sleeveless t-shirt, feeling rather naked and exposed compared to his friends.

He instantly felt a lot better when Tseng approached the table and handed him a pack of cigarettes and his favorite hot pink lighter featuring a naked woman. Reno barely took note of the way Tseng disgustedly wiped his hand off on the side of his robe as he tore into the pack and lit one up, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes. Rude wordlessly took a seat at the table as far away from him as possible, folding his muscular arms across his chest. His eyes were glassy and he didn't have his sunglasses with him to hide them, something that made him look a bit vulnerable despite his grim expression.

Tseng took the chair between them and placed a pad of paper and a pen on the table. Reno eyed it suspiciously before glancing back at him, raising a fiery eyebrow in question.

"What's that for? You taking notes or something?" he snorted. He reached for the ashtray he kept on the table and tapped off his cigarette before taking another long drag. Tseng made a face and Reno turned his head to blow the smoke in the other direction.

"I put up with _that_ shit, too," Rude muttered, glaring daggers at Reno.

"I'm not about to sit here and try to fix all of Reno's flaws," Tseng said dryly. Reno noticed his accent had steadily grown heavier, a sure sign he was exhausted. "Or yours, Rude. I said I would mediate the… Pissy dispute. Nothing more."

Reno burst out laughing, and even Rude cracked a smile. Tseng picked up the pen and drew a near-perfect vertical line down the center of the paper, then printed Reno's name at the top of one column and Rude's at the other.

"So we have already agreed that Reno will no longer leave his dirty laundry on the floor, and that Rude must keep his bedroom door closed or accept responsibility for anything the cat does to his property."

"We have?!" Reno exclaimed, grinding out his cigarette and immediately reaching for another. "Eh fine, whatever."

Rude shrugged as Tseng took a moment to write beneath each of their columns in his ridiculously neat script. "Fine. That cat's still a dirty motherfucker, though."

Reno glared hatefully, about to shoot a retort at him when Tseng interrupted.

"What else is preventing you from living peacefully with the cat, Rude?"

"Aside from the fact that I hate cats?" he snorted, running a hand over his chin. "He's ruining our shitty furniture. He has a scratching post and one of those huge ugly cat trees right in the damn living room, but what does he scratch? The couch. And Reno doesn't even make him stop!"

"I do too! I yell at him!"

"_Bullshit_ you do! This is _not _yelling: 'Pisssssy baby, love of my life! Pretty please stop scratching the couch for Daddy? Ooh, would you like some treats? You _would?! _Come on, sweetie, let me reward you for what you were just doing, so that next time you want some treats you'll know to scratch the couch again! I love you SO much, you can do no wrong!'"

Reno's mouth dropped open, unsure if he was more offended and angry at the words themselves or the whiney, sugary tone Rude had just used to mock him. There was also the fact that there was just a bit of truth to what he'd said, and he felt his cheeks begin to burn. It didn't help matters that Tseng had turned away and begun to cough, and Reno highly suspected his former boss was trying very hard not to laugh. Rude arched an eyebrow and smirked triumphantly, his brown eyes shining.

When Tseng had recovered, he managed to look at Reno completely expressionless again, though there was the slightest of sparkles in his eyes. "Is this… somewhat true, Reno? Does your cat scratch the furniture?"

"Yeah…" he conceded, deciding it was better not to argue before Rude did any more humiliating impersonations. He took out his third cigarette and quickly lit up. And people wondered why he smoked and drank so much.

"Is it not a simple matter to clip his nails and lessen the damage?"

"HA!" Reno exclaimed, looking at Tseng as if he had lost his mind. "Good fucking luck! He's been thrown out of three different veterinarians."

"Reno… We're Turks," Tseng said, still considering them as such despite the fact that they had left Shin-ra Incorporated. Once a Turk, always a Turk. The four of them were family. "I'm sure we can handle a domestic cat?"

Reno shook his head in amusement. "You have no idea, boss. The vets sure as hell couldn't handle him! _I _probably could if I had some decent help, but the so-called pros wouldn't let me hold him for them in case I got hurt and sued them I guess. Fucking Rude over there won't even lift a finger."

"You're one to talk about _that_, you lazy shit!"

"Well, I suggested it and you refused to help me, _partner!_"

"I'm not holding that fucking thing and getting scratched and bitten. He'd maul me and piss on me on purpose!"

"Probably," Reno giggled.

"What if I helped you?"

"Er… seriously?" Reno said, turning to look at Tseng skeptically. "_You?_"

Tseng looked a bit offended, tilting his head slightly. "Yes, me. Why, is there something _wrong_ with me?"

"Er no! I just… didn't think you'd be willing to…"

"I'm going to be changing diapers soon, I think I can handle helping you clip a cat's nails every week or so," he said evenly. "And if it prevents me from having to do _this_ again, it will be my pleasure."

"Well… okay then," Reno agreed, though he still couldn't picture Tseng doing either thing. "Pissy seems to like you, so why not. It'll make it less painful when he kneads my chest and tries to nurse on my shirts, too."

"Fucking gross…" muttered Rude.

The negotiations continued for nearly another hour, the list beneath each man's name growing at an alarming rate. Neither Rude nor Reno ended up feeling particularly victorious, but each did win on a few points that were important to them. Eventually, they were both too tired to continue arguing and agreed to a truce, much to Tseng's relief. Pissy could stay, Reno would try harder to curb his behavior, and Rude would attempt to be more tolerant. If they had to discuss the issue again, they'd attempt to do so civilly, during daylight hours, at conversation volume. Tseng agreed to mediate if he was needed as long as it wasn't another one a.m. pajama party in the common area. After signing the 'contract' and shaking hands, a very tired Reno and Rude retreated into their apartment, finally allowing Tseng to go back to bed.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Elena sat up in bed as Tseng finally pushed the door open and quietly stepped into their bedroom. His eyes found hers as they adjusted to the darkness and he sighed, slipping his robe from his shoulders and draping it over the armchair in the corner.

"You're back… I was really starting to worry," she said, watching as he slipped his shirt over his head. Her eyes briefly traced the length of the jagged scar that ran from just beneath his left shoulder nearly to his waist before returning to his face. "You were gone for almost two hours… I was about to come look for you."

"Everything is fine now," he said simply, approaching the bed and pulling back the comforter just enough so that he could slip beneath. It was a bit chilly in the room, and he was as considerate as always.

"What was all the yelling about?" she asked him, laying back down as he stretched himself out along her back and draped his arm around her. He pulled her close against his body, his warm hand coming to rest on the swell of her abdomen.

"It was just a cat fight," he said, his voice heavy with sleep. Elena raised an eyebrow in the dark, but he had already begun to breathe deeply as he nuzzled against her. She allowed her eyes to close, content to ask for the details in the morning… right after she killed Reno and Rude.

* * *

((**Author's Notes: **I hope you enjoyed this story and will follow along for future scenes. Won't you please spare me a moment and leave a review? They really are important to we writers and help keep us going so we can continue to create. Thank you! _~ JenesisX _))


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